Me, for just a little while.

After having Megan I am officially back to work as of last Monday. It's hard, but it's good.

For the sake of my own sanity I need to work. I love my job and I genuinely enjoy what I do and where I work. I am very blessed to be able to say that. But also, I need routine. Having a schedule and a plan makes me feel organized and efficient. It lowers my anxiety.

Working also makes me a better mom. That seems like an oxymoron but it's true. I do not have the patience or imagination to be a full time stay at home mom. Do I wish I were home more? Of course. I love my kids and I want to spend lots of quality time with them. I want to do all those crafts and make all those fun snacks that I have on my Pinterest boards.

But I need that time away from the house where I am not Mom for just a little while. At work I can exercise parts of my brain that don't get used while I'm playing with dinosaurs and monster trucks. I have adult conversations that don't involve spit up. I feel like the me I was before I had kids.

I'm not an awful person. I don't wish that I never had kids. They are absolutely the best thing that has ever happen to me and I love being a mom. I could go on and on about the rewards and benefits of being their mom and how much better my life is because of them. And it's true. But being a mom means making sacrifices to my personal life, my time alone, my breakfast, my wardrobe, and sometimes, yes, my hygiene. We sacrifice our whole selves.

We all do it and we do it out of love because the moment you become a mom your life isn't about you anymore. I just don't think that means I have to give up all of the person I was before I had kids. I honestly think that's where a lot of marriages fall apart. You transform from the people who married each other into parents without looking back. You forget about the little things that make you YOU because you're always MOM.

I give stay at home moms so much credit. It's hard and I will openly admit that I can't do it. And I still think it's important for SAHMs to get out...alone. Grab a coffee and wander around Target by yourself and be you, not Mom, for just a little while. Get some "me time." It's invaluable, refreshing, and it doesn't mean that you don't love your kids if you want to spend some time away from them.

In my case my "me time" is at work. I guess that doesn't sound very relaxing but it's that time away where I'm just me. When I come home after a long day I am a better mom to my kids because I haven't been yelling all day to pick up your toys. I haven't been going deaf listening to fire truck sirens and saving the dog from super hero stunts. I haven't been changing diapers and cleaning spit up off the couch. When I come home I am just glad to see my kids and hug them a little tighter than I did the day before.

Of course I'm exhausted, but the Mom in me is refreshed and ready to take on whatever the kids can throw at me. Which is good because it might be poop.

Accessorize!!!

I love accessories. Bracelets, shoes, scarves, purses. All of it.  I love accessories because they don't make you look fat. Even on my ugliest most water retaining PMS bloated day those earrings I got on clearance are still cute.

Most of all, shoes. But here's my problem. I rarely wear the shoes I buy because I never wear the outfit I bought them for. Or worse yet - I never BOUGHT the outfit I PICTURED myself having when I bought the shoes in the first place.

I adore those flats, and I want to be skinny enough to wear the jeans that go with them. That belt is amazing, but the sweater dress I would wear it with doesn't fit.
 

I'm not kidding when I tell you that I have shoes in my closet that I have owned for 5 years and never worn. They go with a very specific type of dress that I simply cannot pull off. But.I.Love.Those.Shoes.

So even though my accessories don't make me look fat, the outfits they go with do. And until it's socially acceptable to wear heeled boots that match your purse with an oversized hoodie and yoga pants, I will continue to buy things that collect dust.