Thursday Rant: Oversized Vehicles and the Idiots That Drive Them

Parking lots have designated spaces for lots of people; handicapped, expectant mother, and where I shop colonels and generals have privileged parking as well. These people all have a reason to park closer to the front of the store and I’m ok with it.

Occasionally I come across a spot or a row that is stamped “compact.” There’s a reason for this too. Sometimes those spots are actually smaller than the surrounding spaces and sometimes the lane is just narrower and harder to navigate and back out of.

Whatever the case, get your SUV and full size truck out of my parking space. I drive a Focus. I’m allowed to park in a “compact” space. Why? Because my car FITS in a compact space. Your quad cab Silverado does not.

If you purchase a vehicle this large you have to understand that you lose out on certain privileges. Accept it. And when you know you drive a monster please pull forward at the gas pump. When you use the first pump your front end is actually blocking the pump in front of you so everyone has to wait while you take forever to fill up your 5,862 gallon tank.

Also, if you purchase said large vehicle please be able to DRIVE it. If you don’t know how to use your side mirrors and you have no depth perception you should have gotten a smart car. Backing up can be tricky. So if you have to inch out of a parking space, if you can’t tell how much room is left between your bumper and the car on the other side of the aisle, if your lack of turning radius combined with lack of brains makes you pull forward and adjust 4 times then do us all a favor. Get out of my compact space and drive yourself over to the Kia dealership.