Celebrate Failure

Two weeks down and I haven’t lost a pound. Ok, I know it’s “only” been two weeks. But when you start a brand new workout routine and your old routine was *nothing* AND you cut calories I would expect to at least lose a healthy 1-2 lbs per week. No. Exactly the same. It’s really discouraging.

Have no fear, my “personal trainer” has come up with another plan for this week. I can choose my days and length of each workout as long as by the end of the week I have completed a total of 5 hours of exercise and 1 hour of strength/toning.

Today is off to a great start. I did exactly zero hours of exercise AND had a piece of birthday cake. Did someone say fast track to skinny? Or was that fat track beginning…

Try Something New

This never intended to be a weight loss blog. It’s just a place to let my craziness collect so I don’t explode. I just wanted to blog about whatever is on my mind or going on in the world around me. But lately what’s been on my mind is diet, exercise, and the need to fit into a dress that I already bought for a wedding in 6 weeks.

My weight has always been at the forefront of my thoughts, even when I was thin. I check every nutrition label before I buy food, I choose items off a menu based on the calorie count provided (btw, I LOVE that more and more restaurants and chains are doing this. It makes life so much easier for me). It’s probably more of an obsession than it should be. And now I’ve got my fitness guru and cheering team getting me to exercise more. As a result, you get to hear about it. I’m sure my loyal few are getting sick of this topic, though, so I’m going to try something new. Let’s rant. Yeah for complaining!! Not really, but there are things that bug and irritate all of us. So I’m going to try to post every Thursday about something that I could really, really do without. I stole this idea (kind of) from another blog. So here’s my first Thursday Rant. (If you think of a more creative title than that I welcome suggestions).

Spiders.

*shudder* They really creep me out. Nothing should have more than four legs, it’s just weird. Growing up in Michigan we had daddy long legs. I will spare you a photo because I don’t want to look at it either. They were in abundance in every garage and basement but harmless. Still, eww.

Since moving to my latest location in California I have discovered a plethora of species. In.My.House. And they’re BIG and they look angry. I don’t like any kind of insect in my house and my general rule is that if you’re outside, you live. If you trespass into my home, you die. But I just can’t kill spiders. *shudder* It just gives me the heebie jeebies. The Captain is the official spider killer and I literally make him stop whatever he is doing when I find one, which is about twice a day. He’s been gone and I’ve been brave but I just can’t take it anymore.

Until recently they’ve just been annoying and causing involuntary shivers up my spine (do you think that burns calories?). Yesterday, though, Mister woke up with three bites. Not one, three. The poor little guy is so sensitive to bug bites and I feel so bad. Besides itching he swells up and gets little blisters.

So that’s it. I have to do something more than grab a shoe when I see a spider. Not only are they trespassing but now they are hurting my family. No. Not going to happen. Can you call an exterminator for spiders?

Check The Obituaries

My dear, sweet, in-way-better-shape-than-I-am best friend has come up with this week's workout plan. I got yesterday off and we're back to working out every day. This time, though, I have to commit to a full hour of exercise everyday. At first I laughed. I know she's serious, though, and I know she'll do it. The I swallowed hard and choked a little.

You see, I have next to no endurance. This is why I can never be a runner. Despite the fact that running makes me want to jam hot branding irons in my eyes, I just physically can't do it. My chest starts to hurt, my lungs burn and my eyes get blurry. When I'm done (read as 'when I quit') my legs cave from underneath me and I want to vomit. And that's only after a mile, if I make it that far.

It's day 1 of the new plan and I'm still wearing house slippers. (Yes, I have house slippers. I'm old, ok?) I need to muster up some motivation so I can move on with my day. Costco and Old Navy are calling me. I know if I shower and shop first I'll never workout because I won't want to take another shower. Plus if I wait until Mister is asleep then he can't go running to the neighbor's when I collapse.

I'm going to have to find something that is of less intensity than what I've been doing because this week might kill me.

I'd Rather Be Eating Cheesecake

I hurt. Everywhere. Every time I move it's like a different muscle I didn't know I had screams at me. Ok, maybe it's not really that bad, but I'm really really sore!

You see, my best friend likes to exercise. She likes to "feel the burn" and is a long term very faithful Jazzercise attendee. Recently she joined a gym to mix it up a bit. I joined a gym too. The difference is that she actually goes. But then she came up with this bright idea that we need to hold each other accountable. We've done this before years ago and it worked for a little while. If I weren't scared of the repercussions there is no way I would have been at the city park at 5am to jog the track. She also made me go to Jazzercise on Saturday mornings when we were living together. I had a love/hate relationship with her for that.

This time around she says we need to exercise every single day for a week. She is going to the gym every day and, since I've got Mister, I need to do whatever I can. We report back every evening. I've mostly been doing work out videos at home after Mister goes to bed. One day I plopped him in the stroller and jogged/walked 3 miles around the lake.

So for 7 days straight I have done some form of exercise to get my heart rate up and make me sweat. It's definitely more than my body is used to and absolutely would not have been accomplished if I didn't have to tell my best friend that evening. When she texts and says she went to a turbo kick class I cannot text back and tell her I sat on the couch eating oreos.

I have to admit I feel better. I'd love to lose weight but I know that even if I don't shed any significant poundage I am making my heart and overall mind and body healthier. So its good. But I'm glad the week is over. She just sent me a text and said "We did it! We'll talk about next week's plan later."

Next week?

We've Moved! Fancy That...

You got it. Since I've last posted we have picked up our family and moved. Again. Surprise! Not really. We're nomadic, it's right there in the title of the blog. Hellooo.

It was also just brought to my attention that I haven't written an entry in quite some time. There were rumors that I ran off to New Zealand to become a wild life photographer but was committed to a psychiatric hospital for depression after being forced to give up photography when my hand was bitten off by a mountain goat. (They eat everything). I want to be the first to tell you none of that is true.

Life just happens. I'm a busy mom working 2.5 jobs and I try to spend every minute I can with my precious little Mister before he gets too big for snuggles. I've made some significant changes to my life since my brain last threw up on the internet and I'd love to tell you all about it if I can sit myself down often enough to do so. To help curb your anxiety (I know you just can't stand it) here's a bullet list of things you can look forward to:

Mister's Second Birthday

New Exercise Plan

Sister Wedding!

Michigan Summers Suck

Diet What?

To recap: I am alive and well with both hands and swear to do this more often. (I said the same thing when I joined a gym. See future exercise post)

Retail Therapy

After such a negative post last time I wanted to let you all know that I got a mani/pedi, coffee, and new underwear. I feel great. The Captain said "Didn't you just buy underwear?" No. The last pair of underwear that I bought was a pair of plain cotton maternity underwear, hardly anything that makes you feel sexy or in the least bit good about yourself. And so what if I did just buy underwear. Victoria's Secret was having a sale. He relaxed when I told him I used a gift card.

I used a gift card for my nails too. I have a wallet full of gift cards that have accumulated from birthdays and Christmases long past. I never seem to find the time or energy to spend money on myself, not even when it's other people's money. I have some other errands to run today and I've decided that it's time. It's gift card day! The Captain will be gone and Mister and I are going to spend all day (or as long as he lasts) using as many of those cards as I can. I have a trip coming up and I think I could use a few new things.

Now, if I could get a shower we'll be all set

If the telephones in The Matrix were real....

Life is spinning by so fast that I can't see the colors anymore. You've heard the term living paycheck to paycheck? I feel like I manage each day coffee to coffee, each week from one work shift to the next. My weekend (which is really Thursday and Friday) is spent at the grocery store, Target, Costco, and cleaning the bathrooms. I'm just waiting for the next big thing and it isn't happening. A friend of mine used the term "mommy-blob" today. She may have just as well used my name instead.

Mister just turned one and I feel like I lost a year of my life. He's amazing, I don't mean to make it sound like I haven't been so blessed by having him. The milestone of his birthday, though, really hit me hard. I'm afraid of spiraling into a depression if something doesn't change... and soon.

We've never been in one place this long. Not one state, not one apartment. My job is going downhill quickly. I'm not at risk of losing my job but the politics and backstabbing are starting to take over. It's not as enjoyable as it used to be and I'm finding more and more to complain about (which is not becoming). Leaving Mister and The Captain every day for 11+ hours breaks my heart. I'm really unhappy with my body and I'm making myself miserable trying to change it. There are just so many things that can and will be so much better if we could just move on.

I have an amazing vision of what our lives will be like and I'm convinced it's going to happen. It just needs.to.happen.

All I can do is try to stay patient (something I've never been very good at) and know that eventually I'll see rainbows again.