I am so emotional about babies. When I was pregnant I cried at Huggies commercials and blamed it on hormones. The Gerber baby would giggle and I would start bawling. What’s my excuse now? I’m a mom. That’s my excuse.
Some of you are moms and know what I’m talking about. Some of you are mommies-to-be and are hoping you’ll never be as crazy as I am. For those of you who don’t have kids I don’t know how to explain the change that happens in your heart when you have something that is living and breathing and is a part of you. The deepest love you can imagine doesn’t even compare to the love a mother has for her baby.
It sounds so cliché but it really is something you cannot comprehend until you feel it yourself. You’ve heard it a million times, “a mother’s love.” It is somehow its own definition of love. It’s an amazing thing, an uncontrollable thing, and absolutely consuming. It works miracles. I didn’t know this kind of love existed until I became a mom. Why does our language only have one word for love? It’s not enough to describe it.
In church we are taught that God loves us unconditionally, agape love. Yes, I believe that. But I don’t think I understood what unconditional meant. Of course I know what it means; there is nothing you can do to make God not love you. He will always forgive you, always receive you, always be there no matter what. I’m not trying to compare my love for Mister to the love of God, that’s impossible. I think it’s also impossible to fully understand. But now that I’m a mom I think I have a better comprehension of it than I did before.
This mother’s love is something you cannot know until you know it. No one can tell you what it feels like. Not everyone wants children and that’s ok. I’m not here to preach about having babies, some people really shouldn’t. Now that I know what my heart is capable of I can’t imagine going through life not feeling this love. For those people who don’t want children or who can’t have children, I think they would be in agony if they were able to comprehend this and never feel it. A hole exists in their hearts and they don’t even know it’s there. I suppose that’s a blessing in disguise.
I believe you. I haven't even met my daughter yet and I know her... and I haven't even seen her tiny little face yet. I know what I feel (you've been there) when I see scans of the first living proof of the best (and worst) parts of the love of my life and myself, and nothing compares to that feeling yet.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're crazy. What I think is crazy is the stories of people that can abuse their kids, scream at them until they cry and not feel bad about it, or drop them off at a hospital and never return. What I think is crazy is that people who don't want kids get them and abuse them while many parents pray for families they never get.
See, I'm turning into mush too.