Even when it's good news, bedside manner is still important

There are conflicting studies and papers about whether or not bed rest is actually effective or if it just makes you go crazy (that part I can attest to). But the way the perinatologist explained it made sense that it would work. And the biggest reason why opinions differ is because of the people conducting the study: those who do daily clinical work as see results in patients vs those who primarily do research. The clinicians say it works. And I believe him.

Obviously my blood pressure stays down when I'm relaxed and not trying to do a million things and keep up with everything that comes with being a mom and a wife. And my blood pressure is the problem. So it makes perfect sense to me that when you knock those things out of the equation, lower the BP, baby and I are both healthier. And wouldn't you know after two weeks of bed rest the ultrasound at 35 weeks showed her abdomen grew. It actually grew appropriately in those 2 weeks. More than anyone expected.

Shes still too small but there was two weeks of growth in two weeks. After zero growth, I'll call that amazing.

I say all this to say that the perinatologist we saw on Monday was a jerk. He said bed rest does nothing, it's just something doctors recommend when they don't know what else to do. He basically said "You have a small baby, so what. You're fine. Go home and schedule an induction in another two weeks." I was trying to understand what my limitations were and I asked "So basically still no activity. No cooking dinner, things like that?" He looked at Brian and said, "I don't know, can YOU cook?" I wanted to punch him in the face.

With everything we've been through and the team of doctors who decided to put me in the hospital because things were so severe I get this one doctor who has decided that nothing is wrong. I believe in the power of prayer but, really, all of a sudden everything is normal? No. I believe that it's better. I believe that the steps we've taken to assure that we can get this girl as healthy as possible have made a huge difference. I do not believe that everything is candy and roses.

Brian was upset too but obviously less hormonal than me and tried to see both sides. "Just because his bedside manner sucks doesn't mean he's wrong. He IS a doctor." Yes. Yes he is a doctor and I'm not. I just think he's a bad doctor and I wish I would have asked to see the other perinatologist that I had seen at my two previous appointments. This new guy just gave me his opinion like it was fact and didn't give me any supporting data or evidence as to how he came up with why he thought that way. I had to ask to see the growth charts. Brian had to ask what percentile she was in now. The guy was just a jerk.

I called my doctor as soon as we left the office because I wasn't comfortable with how we left things and I still felt like I didn't know anything. She wasn't in the office but I'll feel so much better after talking with her, even if she says the same thing.