Hi, I'm Kelly

When I started this blog I did not use anyone’s real name or post photos. I intentionally tried to keep it unidentifiable other than our location in Southern California. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about having my son’s photo all over the internet. It’s all over Facebook but that’s private, I actually know all the people I'm friends with. I didn’t ever use my husband’s real name because I didn’t want people to know who he was when I wrote 16 pages about what an idiot he is for not folding the towels correctly. Typical wife stuff.

But it occurred to me recently that, first of all, I’m not the kind of wife that goes around publicly bashing my husband and griping about him to strangers. He is a loving, wonderful man who takes care of our family. I’ll bash him in private. On Facebook.

It also occurred to me that the reason I love reading the blogs that I do is because they feel personal. I feel like I know the people writing them because they share details about their family. I know their kids names and I’ve seen their picture from the 4th grade talent show. And the truth is, I want you to like me too. So enough of this nickname nonsense.

My husband’s name is Brian. We met in middle school in Mr Qualls science class. He was a brainiac. We started dating during our sophomore year of high school 15 years ago and we’ve been married for 6 years. In 2010 our precious son is Caleb was born and he is the best and most challenging thing about my life. Our dog is a shepherd mix named Remington but we mostly call him Remi. Are we friends now?

Timeline of Events

I’m. Exhausted.

I’ve said this a million times and I meant it a million times. A million and one, though, is the back breaker. Lets start with Tuesday night. (I honestly had to stop and think about what day it was.)

Tuesday started at 3am when my alarm clock went off. I started my regular 10 hour shift at 5am and came home to make dinner really quick so The Captain could eat and get to class. Then I chased a 2 year old around for the rest of the night before giving him a bath and putting him to bed.

Wednesday I would have loved to have slept in a little but my lovely son has an internal clock that goes off at 5am, if not before. So we were up. Wednesday is my late day at work so I get to spend the morning with my family but also means that I am at work until 12:30am.

I checked in with the ER doctors and they assured me there was nothing pending so I decided to go home. Now I am on call until 4:00am. I got home last night at 1:00am and tried to wind down a little while praying I didn’t get called in. I did not get called in. I might as well have because I got just as little sleep as if I had been working all night. The rest of the night (morning) went like this:

1:45am Finally fell asleep

2:05am Mister came into my room wanting in our bed.

2:06am Fight with Mister about sleeping in his own bed

2:20am Mister is asleep in his own bed and I am tip toeing back to mine.

2:21am Head joyfully hits pillow.

2:24am Mister is in my room again.

2:25am Fight with Mister

Repeat the last 3 steps innumerable times until

5:10 Mister is in my room AGAIN and I give up.

I need SOME sleep and so does he. We both slept wonderfully until 7:00am when he decided he was up for the day. Really? He wanted to watch a movie. Perfect, you watch a movie and I will fall asleep on the couch.

7:10 Mister is completely fixated on The Fox and the Hound and I am asleep on the couch.

7:16 “Mamma!! Hungry!!!”

7:17 Make gun shape with hand and shoot self in face.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

I recently got back from a quick trip to New Hampshire for a friend’s wedding. It was great for a lot of reasons.

1. I went by myself. No kid. No husband. Which meant less responsibility and whatever I want on tv and sleeping in the middle of the bed with ALL the pillows. Ah.

2. New Hampshire has a legitimate Autumn. The colors were beautiful and the air was perfect. I also saw a sign that said “Moose Crossing.”

3. I got to see one of my oldest and dearest friends for the first time in years. I’ve been friends with her for something like 23 years since 2nd grade when her mom was my girl scout leader. We went on each other’s family vacations because, well, we were family. There’s a very long history to our friendship. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her and she was beautiful.

Her grandmother didn’t recognize me at first. “What’s your name?” She stared at me for a moment and then burst with excited and her eyes got wide, “Oh! I was at your wedding!!” Yes, Grandma Zach, you were at my wedding. I love her.

The ceremony started and I cried before I even saw her. I cried when I saw her. I cried when she danced with her dad. I cried on the way back to the airport. We both have our own lives on opposite coasts and we don’t keep in touch nearly enough. Being there made me realize how much I really do miss her and leaving was terribly sad.

I’m so thankful I was able to go (time off from work approved at the last minute thanks to an amazing co-worker who covered for me). It meant the world to me to be there with her on the first day of the rest of her life.

To Be Old...

This past week my dad and my step-mother both turned 70. They’re the cutest old people I know and I love them. My very generous uncle purchased tickets for a harbor dinner cruise for 12 people to celebrate the occasion. (Those things aren’t cheap!) Best of all, it was a surprise for both of them.

My aunt and uncle had my parents believing they were just going out to dinner. Then they thought the surprise was that it was that it was the cruise. Good thing my dad wore a suit jacket. When they got on the ship the rest of us were already there trying to hide behind our napkins while they got their complimentary glasses of champaign. My brothers are both over 6 feet tall, it didn’t work.

We had such a great evening cruising around the bay and dancing to the live band. My parents even got out on the dance floor. Did I mention that they are adorable? The best part about the whole evening was being able to see the joy on their faces and knowing that they knew they were loved. They smiled ear to ear and laughed from their bellies at “old” jokes.

When I’m 70 I want to be just like them.

Thursday Rant: In Between Sizes

I hate being in between sizes. People who say they are “in between sizes” do, in fact, have a size. They just don’t like it.

There are two types of in between sizes: For people who are actively striving to lose weight and consistently lose inches week to week it doesn’t make sense to buy new clothes. They won’t fit you in a month anyway. Nothing in your closet fits. Good for you.

I believe the majority of us, myself included, fit into the second type of in between sizers. We just have a bunch of fat clothes from before we started losing weight and a bunch of skinny clothes that we bought when we lost the weight and before we put half of it back on. And we still have nothing that fits. We are literally the size in between all the sizes we own.

If you’re like me, the skinny clothes depress you because they used to fit. The fat clothes depress you because they used to fit and you hated yourself when they did…. But they are slowly starting to fit again.

The summer is nearing its end in Southern California and the extreme heat has finally taken a break. I was able to wear jeans for the first time since March. Scratch that. The weather permitted jean wearing. I actually could not because I only own “in between sizes” jeans and none that actually fit.

I’m going to a wedding next week and the Marine Corps Ball is coming up. I just tried on every dress I own, even those inappropriate for said events. Every one of them either fell right off or didn’t zip. Looks like I need to go shopping.

Thursday Rant: Flies

I live in a part of the country that has beautiful weather 95% of the year. What makes it better than other beautiful parts of the country? No bugs. We like to leave our back door open when we’re home so the dog and Mister can come and go as they please. It’s a luxury we wouldn’t have anywhere else.

This summer is different. We have flies. In the 5 years we have been in California we have never had flies. Maybe it’s because we live a little further inland now or maybe it’s because we never had a door we could leave open before. I’m telling you the flies are taking over my house. Ok, just the kitchen.

The Captain just bought an electric fly swatter. Imagine the voltage of those outdoor hanging bug zappers in the shape of a small tennis racket. You don’t have to wait for the fly to land, you just swing mid-flight and ZAP! Dead fly. It’s actually a lot of fun and I’m getting really good at my backhand.

Pumpkin Porn

I love Autumn. Love it. I grew up in Michigan where it not only means the start of school (I’m a nerd and I loved this too) but also cooler temperatures and crisp air, scarves, boots, sweaters, apple picking, cider mills, changing leaves, football, and pumpkins. Lots of pumpkins.

Pumpkins are one of the few things you get with the season all over the country, even in places that don’t really have seasons. California does not have “Fall” but we have pumpkins and they’re everywhere. I get excited when I see them in bins outside the grocery store and when the back corner of Target is filled with décor in all my favorite earth tones. I’m drawn to it and I want it all. It is for this reason that a friend of mine calls it pumpkin porn. It’s not just pumpkins but everything that embodies Fall and the good feelings you get inside from it. She loves it as much as I do.

As much as I want to get into the spirit of the season I find it very difficult when it’s 104 degrees outside. I really want to take my son to the pumpkin patch. I don’t want to do it in flip flops. I would love to sip on some stove top apple cider or a pumpkin spice latte but the thought of drinking anything hot makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

I know it’s only September but it doesn’t last long. Christmas starts earlier and earlier every year and I’m losing precious time. Im holding out hope for cooler temps in October so I can actually enjoy the pumpkin porn before I feel the need to put up my tree and decorate the house. That’s a whole different level of crazy and a major event for me.