It's just a fat phase.

My husband innocently asked me this morning if I had a baby bump yet.

I lost it.

Are you kidding me? Have you not noticed the 10 extra pounds I've put on in 4 weeks that magically only appear around my mid-section? Seriously? You can't tell? This tells me one of two things A) he is completely unobservant and hasn't looked at me in a month or B) I just look fat, not pregnant.

The answer is B. I know this because my husband notices everything. He is one of the most observant, detail oriented people I know. Especially if I put on weight. And my weight fluctuates a lot. He's not mean about it, and doesn't even really care because he just loves me anyway. He's great like that. But he notices.

So in his mind when he was just excited about the baby and curious to know if I was showing yet my hormonal brain heard, "Hey, you're fat." And I snapped at him. I was just beginning to feel better about the weight gain, thinking that I actually looked pregnant and not just like a cow with pants that were too tight. Apparently, that's not the case.

I struggled because I gained weight rapidly and started showing early. At first I was confident that it wasn't "baby" because it was too early. I was just gaining weight because I wasn't dieting and my hormones are different. I'm at that awkward phase of pregnancy where maternity clothes are too big and real clothes are too small. I am the woman people whisper about asking "Is she? I can't tell," and they're afraid to ask. Then slowly I became accepting of it as everyone told me that you show earlier with the second one. I started wearing real clothes that made my belly more evident instead of hiding it like I did when I was legitimately fat. But now, now I'm embarrassed that I've been walking around like that and I'm going back to the baggy scrubs and over-sized t-shirts.

Seriously, folks. This is not a 12 week belly. This is fat.